#lark and sparrow are chaos children

[methbayprisonblues]

do you ever just think about the dads being girl dads first? because I do constantly

Introducing

Lauren *probably had a last name that isn't Stampler*: the most well adjusted girl, takes after her mother Samantha, she has the best social life of the group, is kind and friendly and is honestly just happy her mom is happy even if her new step-dad Ron is a little strange, she understands Terry Jr's resentment but is a lot nicer about it to ron's face, a wizard in the forgotten realms

Dove Oak-Garcia: Dove gave Henry and Mercedes a little false hope about all children being as well behaved as her, she has embraced the nature loving, hippie dippie lifestyle her parents have and is more laid back than Lark and Sparrow but does nothing to help stop their chaos, she didn't know it but she looks just like her grandma autumn, she is a cleric/druid multiclass, who tried so hard to help everyone that one day she just had to turn into a wolf and go live in the woods for a few years

Grace Wilson: Captain of the San Dimas High Cheerleading team, Grace is the epitome of Darryl's mini-me and a daddys girl through and through, does that drive a wedge between her and Carol? the world may never know, a good catholic girl through and through, sure hope no amount of forgotten realms trauma shakes that up, a paladin in the forgotten realms

Stevie Close/Stephanie Foster: nothing is more punk rock than being parentified after the death of your mother, Stevie is very used to taking care of her little brother and sees their dad in a lot harsher of a light than Nick does, before the forgotten realms she was a little jealous of the other girls for having normal dads, then she actually met the other dads, Stevie is, to her own chagrin, a bard just like her dad

gorgeous gorgeous perfect art done by @when-sanpape-arts

I genuinely can't praise it enough

[kaseyskat]

had some thoughts about dood (yes ive settled on that spelling i like it) and missing scenes and stuff anthony would never do because he doesn't like roleplaying with himself and i very hastily wrote them our for your pleasure. enjoy!

~

It happens so fast. 

Sparrow doesn’t even comprehend… everything that is going on. The Doodler talks in a voice that he recognizes from childhood dreams, and the children are talking, and Willy is talking, and then Lark pulls out his gun and is aiming it directly at Normal, and Sparrow is frozen, frozen in place, helpless but to watch and to stare at his twin and shake his head and plead with his eyes and think: this is not how I imagined this fight. 

Once, he had dreamed of this fight. It was glorious, the rendition in his head. The Doodler was a mighty adversary, one who wanted to bring a reign of terror and chaos upon the land, and from a young age, Sparrow knew that he and Lark were the ones destined to rise up, bear their arms in kind, fight the Doodler and win. 

But the Doodler isn’t a mighty adversary here, it’s just… scared, and alone. Is this really what Lark saw when he glimpsed into its mind? 

And Lark still has a gun pointed at Normal. Realistically, Sparrow knows that he’s aiming for the Doodler, because that’s what they’re supposed to do, right? Fight the Doodler and win? It makes sense, and yet it doesn’t, because no version of their fight would result in their family getting hurt. 

But that’s already happened. Our family is already torn to shreds! Sparrow wants to scream, wants to call out, but he is frozen and helpless and can only breathe a sigh of relief when Normal says… something to Lark and Lark puts his gun down. 

He’ll find out what Normal said later. Now, they have a fight to win, and this is one that Sparrow doesn’t feel wordlessly, strangely guilty about. 

And he crumples. And he drags himself back to his feet just in time to watch Willy flash away, leaving only the form of the Doodler that Sparrow has pointedly avoided looking at until now.

It could be a regular teenager, if teenagers morphed in and out of time and space, crackling with static energy. For a second, Sparrow comprehends it – the way the Doodler resembles, vaguely, the form that he had drawn when he was ten and wanted to give shape and dimension to the being that creeped into his dreams and spoke to him in whispered tones – before it shifts, and Sparrow only sees himself. 

Doodler-Sparrow is small, quiet, big eyes staring Sparrow down as their form flickers from cardigans to dresses, hair going blonde and then dark again, eyes flashing green to amber and back to green. It’s dizzying: Sparrow quickly looks away, taking a deep breath even as it continues to look at him, and look at him, and Scary is reading something but it is still staring at him. 

Then, quietly. “Hen?” 

Sparrow inhales. 

It is no secret that he misses his father terribly. Cutting himself off hadn’t been a personal choice: in fact, he still regularly calls his parents, tries making awful smalltalk, incorporates elements of his life that he liked into his own parenting, does his best for Hero and for Normal. And, and it isn’t like Henry is dead! Just… lost. 

That was Sparrow’s fault too, wasn’t it? 

“Hen is my father,” he says quietly, watches as Doodler-Sparrow shifts to look more like a younger version of his father staring at him in horror– in the fear of losing him forever, of having already lost him, or somewhere bitterly in between. “Hello… what did the kids call you? Dood?” 

They nod, taking a step back as Sparrow steps forwards, wary. Arms curl around them, and its form flickers again, right back to the younger version of himself. 

“Dood,” Sparrow repeats, and he snorts, shaking his head. “Alright, Dood. May I ask: do you remember anything of being… with my father? Hen?” 

“I…” the Doodler – Dood, rather – takes another nervous step back, and Sparrow is forced to look down at the shadows they cast against the floors of the church to avoid the headache building behind his eyes. “It’s… hard. But I think you were beautiful.” 

Despite himself, Sparrow smiles. 

“Then I suppose you don’t remember my name,” he says, softly. “But I’m Sparrow. I gave you your name once, a long time ago.” 

“The mascot,” Dood breathes, and they nod slowly. “I… is that my name?” 

“Dood is just fine, I think,” Sparrow smiles, and he offers his hand slowly, the way he would with Hero when she was younger and unwilling to budge on one topic or another. “I know Normal is going to take great care of you, but I want you to know you can rely on me too, okay?” 

He doesn’t know where this came from, except he does, because he just watched his son be held at gunpoint and reflected in Dood’s personage is the person that Sparrow turned away from in favor of what Lark wanted, of what the world needed, and where had it gotten them? His daughter hates him, and his son isn’t far behind. His father withers away and his mother is tired, so tired, and Sparrow has spent a lifetime loving and choosing his brother and it still hadn’t saved him, had it? He can’t force Lark to love himself, no matter how hard he tries, so shouldn’t he choose himself for once? 

Dood didn’t deserve this, and they clearly don’t remember much of what Sparrow had once resented them for. Forgiveness is one of the principles of being a lovewolf, isn’t it? 

“That… sounds nice?” Dood shifts in place, and Sparrow glances back up just in time to catch Himself looking back, tired and haggard and still so small. “I like Normal.” 

Sparrow shifts his gaze. Normal is standing with Scary, gawking at her over… whatever it was she was reading that he’s since tuned out. He’s ditched the mascot suit but still wears the bright blue jersey he’s so fond of, his hair is messy and clearly unwashed, and there’s the smallest wisps of what might be facial hair above his lips, only noticeable when he frowns. 

My son. Sparrow smiles. “Me too.” 

He doesn’t know what might come next, but he thinks his father might be proud of him for once, and maybe that’s enough. Dood takes his hand, and though the static stings and writhes and whispers, Sparrow can only smile to himself and turn to face a world saved by his son and his friends, and maybe finally find the grace to heal his own inner child in the progress. 

[mushroom-creacher]

Wayward Dads Chapter 3: Don't Father Me

< - >

The room had quickly erupted into chaos.

Lark and Grant shouted questions that went unanswered, Terry started pacing along the small room and Sparrow was trying to bring Nick down from a poorly masked panic attack while Paeden clung to Walter.

Erin and Walter didn’t know what to do. How the hell did this even happen? Was there a way to reverse it? How were they supposed to handle this?

“Can we all just calm down for a sec?” Figgs leaned against the wall, their snake familiar resting contently in her hair. “They’re kids, so what? You can still grab ‘em and bring ‘em back.”

Erin sighed and massaged her temples. “It’s a bit more complicated than that, Figgs. We don’t stand a chance against the Omega Daddies on our own.”

“There’s like, eight of you.”

“Six of which are children!” Walter spoke up.

Figgs scoffed. “That’s still enough to cause a distraction while the others grab your guys. You just need to keep the bad guys busy long enough to make an extraction.”

“That… might actually work…” Erin looked at the rest of the group. “We’d only need to hold up for a few minutes. I’ve seen you all fight, you may not be able to take someone down just yet, but you can stand your ground for a long while.”

“You can’t seriously be thinking of letting them fight those people! They’re 12!” Walter crossed his arms.

“It’s our only option if we want to get their dads back! Besides, do you really think they’re going to just sit here and let us handle it without them?”

“No, but we can at least try to keep them out of it!”

“They’re already in it! These kids have seen action, they’ll be fine!”

“We can’t risk them getting taken again! Their dads just got them back and now you want to put them in danger?!”

“Well, I don’t see you coming up with any other ideas!”

“Can you both please stop talking about us like we’re not here?!”

Erin and Walter went silent and looked toward the outburst.

Everyone was looking at Terry Jr., his brow furrowed in frustration.

“How about just asking us what we want to do instead of making the choice for us!”

“Yeah, we want to help! We can’t just sit here and do nothing while our dads are out there!” Sparrow spoke up.

Walter sighed. “Kids, we know you want to help but this is much too dangerous. We are fighting incredibly powerful people; you could get hurt or taken again! Then we’d be back at square one.”

“We’re not gonna wait around here while you guys are out there! You can’t keep us here!” Grant protested.

“Oh yes, I can! Even if I have to tie you to the door, you’re not going out there! It’s too dangerous!”

Walter felt a small tug on his sleeve, looking down he saw Paeden, unusually timid and afraid.

“Walter... Please... We can’t leave them...”

The bullywug stared back at the small boy before letting out a heavy sigh as he looked back up at the group of defiant tweens. He knew that only him and Erin wouldn’t be able to fight against the Omega Daddies, but putting these kids in the line of fire would be wildly irresponsible. But then again, he remembered how angry and scared he was when Paeden had gone missing and what he was willing to do to get him back.

“Ok. Fine. But we are taking every precaution! If things get bad, we retreat immediately. Understood?” He gave a pointed look to everyone in the room to make sure they knew how serious he was taking this.

 All of the kids nodded, letting out a collective sigh of relief.

“Ok, well now that you have all come to the sensible arrangement, maybe we should get a move on. Which kid are we nabbin’ first?” Figgs asked bluntly, already preparing to cast the portal.

“Gods, do you have to phrase it like that?” Erin cringed.

“What? We are nabbing kids, even if they should be nabbed, it’s still nabbing. So I ask again, who are we nabbin’ first?”

Lark and Sparrow stepped up.

“Our father is a powerful druid even as a child. It would be beneficial to acquire him first as he will be helpful in fighting the rest of our previous captors.” Lark explained.

“And he it would be smart to get another healer in case anything bad happens during the rest of the rescue missions.” Sparrow added.

Nobody argued, even if they wanted to. They all wanted to get their dads back as much as the others and Lark and Sparrow made some good points, though they all knew that this strategy was just their excuse to get their dad back as soon as possible.

Erin nodded. “Ok. You all should get ready, prepare however you can while Figgs and I work on this portal. Try to come up with a plan, a good one.”

The twins nodded and rejoined the rest of their small party and Walter to discuss strategies.

Though it was subtle, everyone could see the small glint in the Oak boys’ eyes. One that the other boys had only ever seen when someone dared to try and push one of the twins around. A look of complete and total determination and protectiveness. They were going to get their dad back no matter the cost. Because one thing you learn around the boys is that you never mess with an Oak.

[cephalog0d]

mischief monday!

Terry knows that the twins like to be rowdy, playing ninja and giving themselves tattoos inside Walter’s motorcycle on the road while they are fighting for their lives against bounty hunters.

The bruises on his hands and arms sting even as Lark approaches him and Nick with a grin, “Shall we play another round, Terry Junior?”

Sparrow pops up beside him, “Nicholas, will you be joining us?”

Nick glances his way, despite his calm and cool attitude, Terry has seen first hand his competitive side when they play video games.

Terry sighs internally, and Nick grins, “Okay, one more round.”

MY BEAUTIFUL CHAOS CHILDREN. <3 Thank you, I love them!!

[thefandom-casserole]

Episode Three- The Lord of Chaos

My relisten notes

- The opening song!!!! That one was good

- DadFact: Glenn plays an indeterminate brand of guitar

- DadFact: Favorite TV show is Bones (hmmm… this changes…)

- DadFact: Ron thinks a hug is a type of dog

- DadFact: Darryl’s favorite TV show used to be Bones, but then Finder was his favorite

- DaddyFact: Beth thought that her guy voice was so good she thought no one would know a girl was on the podcast

- “Have we canonically established what the Doodler is” “I don’t think we should” if only you guys knew 😔

- They’re taking a nap after telling jokes 😭 This is such Dad culture

- The same man twice!!!!! The Lord of Chaos!!!!!!!

- “I don’t know if that inn is still standing” Knowing how the Oak boys turned out hearing about them like this makes me so. fucking. sad.

- Ron comparing Henry and Darryl to his parents 💔

- WIAT IS IT CANONICAL THAT LARK AND SPARROW THROUGH THE PARTY WITH THE PITS? OR KS THIS JUST SOMETHING WITH THE TOWN!?!?

- I know this was a through-away line but the way they said “there’s professionals in both pits” after Henry mentions professional wrestling makes me think that Unfortunate Foster Children were in the fighting ring :)

- Yes this is me having constant Paeden brainrot fuck you

- Sherif Boreanaz 😭

- The Doodler!!!!!!! Adore them

- This episode brings so many things to light good god good god

- This is insane

- “You might be the unsung heroes!” Hmm I wonder if one of them is. Wouldn’t that be crazy woooooowwww

- ExtraDadFact: Henry really likes old westerns, but finds them very problematic at the same time

- Oooh since Henry falling didn’t count and unleash the Doodler means that either a.) someone with the Doodler in them (which we know are only the twins, Henry, Normal and Hero) wasn’t watching, or b.) he wasn’t yet the unsung hero and so you can BECOME the unsung hero

- Cool cool cool

- I love how they forgot that Darryl gave his Nokia phone to the Lance lol

- “The only people the Lord of Chaos seem to respect are people who fight” man I wish we got more Paeden-Twins interactions 😞

- The way they immediately went to exploiting the weakness. The nudeness of them good god

- This could’ve been such a cool fight scene 😭

- RON’S PANTS

[anoctoberpepper]

Sparklers and Death Dice

Lark pulls a sparkler out of the box, twirls it around a few times, then jabs it into Nick’s forearm. Sparks burst to life on the tip, sizzling and cracking as Nick yelps and smacks Lark’s hand away. 

“Dude!” Nick gives Lark a knock-it-off look and pulls his arm out of the other man’s reach. 

Lark grins wide and mischievous. 

“You’re gonna give me away,” Nick says. “To who?” Lark asks, waving his hand to motion around the Oak’s backyard. “The assembled toddlers?” Across the space there are stumbling kids, and the parents trying to keep them from falling off plastic playsets or tripping on hoses and garden plots. 

“There are grownups here too, man,” Nick says. 

“Oh.” Lark looks around at the small group of parents that aren’t in on the whole Nick-is-a-demon thing. It’s a small group, but it is a group none-the-less. “right.” His sparkler sizzles happily. 

“Where did you find all of these people anyway?” Nick asks. 

“I don’t know,” Lark says, “but Sparrow and Rebecca have friends, apparently.” 

There’s a lull in the conversation long enough for one of the many children running around to pull to a stop in front of them. 

“That’s so cool Uncle Lark!” Hero grins wide and stares at the fizzing toy. 

“Merry christmas.” Lark hands the firework down to the kid and Hero smiles wildly and not unlike  a young Sparrow. “Don’t light yourself on fire.” Lark calls after her, pretending to be a responsible adult. He watches her run in the dimming evening light. He never spends too much time thinking about Hero’s childhood, if he did then teaching her how to fight would only hurt worse, so he grabs the box of sparklers and shakes out another stick. 

“Don’t even think about it.” Nick holds up his hands and steps out of the other man’s range. Lark whines pathetically, but puts the sparkler back.

“Fine.” He tucks the box safely into his back pocket and leans against the fence. Nick resets himself at Lark’s side. 

“Nice to see you out of kevlar for a change,” Nick says. It’s not an understatement, the five of them have been working almost nonstop for three months. In all that time Nick hasn’t seen Lark as anything but a murderer hyped up on monster energy drinks, head-to-toe in gear, sporting at least three weapons. 

“Still strapped,” Lark says. “Don’t tell Sparrow.” “He is too.” Nick shrugs. “Told me not to tell you.”

Lark laughs, short and deep, and both men glance warily up at the sky. It hasn’t been long since they switched everything, since they made the world move under their feet. It still makes Lark a little nauseous. 

“Did you hear what Terry did?” Lark asks. He doesn’t have anything to fidget with since he promised Sparrow he’d leave his butterfly knife at home and the sparklers are in his pocket so he picks at the wood on the tall privacy fence around his backyard. 

“I’m not sure I want to know.”

“It’s not bad,” Lark says, “Just weird.” Nick raises an eyebrow, curious.

“He rolled the dice,” Lark says.

“The Die another Day Dice!?” Nick looks impressed, shocked, scared. None of the rest of them, even Lark, has tried that. Life’s too bleak to know when he’s going to die. 

“A couple days ago,” Lark says. He pulls a satisfying splinter off the wall, turns it around in his hand and presses little lines into it with his fingernail.

“That explains why he’s been staring at the doodler sunset for twenty minutes now,” Nick mumbles. 

Lark looks up and follows Nick’s eyes to Terry standing in the middle of miniature baby chaos knot, holding kombucha and not moving. The porch lights flick on behind him and Lark hears Nick chuckle. 

“What?” Lark asks. 

“Nothing, just.--Mortals,” Nick says. 

“You’re mortal,” Lark reminds sourly. A little less mortal than the rest of them, but mortal. At least they’re pretty sure Nick is somewhat mortal. A little bit. On his mother’s side. “But not like you,” Nick says. 

Lark sighs,

“I know.” There’s a long moment where Lark watches Terry, then breaks his tiny piece of wood in half, then in half again. Then he says, “Will you catch us on the other side?”

Nick makes that back-of-the-mouth thoughtful noise that he picked up from his kinda dad, Glenn, then says, 

“Of course- but how are you so sure you’re going to hell? Lark gives him an unamused stare. 

“Terry at least has a chance,” Nick says. Lark looks back at Terry, turns that possibility over and over in his head. He doesn't know what makes a good person, at least not anymore, but Terry surely qualifies. Only problem is,

“Terry made the same decision we did. Can’t take that back.”

Nick doesn’t have any way to argue. He leans against the fence and stares. “So will you catch us on the other side, at least to say hello?” Lark asks again. Snaps the last bit of splinter that he can before dropping the wooden flakes to the ground. “I’ll catch you,” Nick says. Then noticing Lark surreptitiously sneaking the sparklers out of his pocket again says, “You can light one more sparkler…I guess”

[sunshinethena]

not me actually wanting to cry from a d&d podcast

[abeinginsand]

The usually noisy and lively home ...filled with an eerie quiet and occasional hushed talking. A dread blankets all four of them. They don't know what to do. For now Mercedes and Henry hug their children tightly each day and pull the curtains closed to the chaos outside. Both are taking time off work and Mercedes tries to see the bright side in the momentary seclusion--extra time to be around (and protect) her favorite people in the world.

Lark has hardly spoken since that day and tends to stay in the twins bedroom most of the time. Occasionally coming out for meals or the bathroom. Sparrow sticks close to his brother with a forced little smile. Been grinding his teeth more lately and only speaks up to assure Lark or to ask his parents how everyone is doing....especially how his father's injury is doing too.

It's been healed already (with a winding branch like scar spreading out from the spot), but Sparrow has this skeptical look on his face every time so he asks again anyway. Sometimes even asking to see the mark directly to make sure. Seeing the mark makes the skeptical look turn to haunted though. A haunted look that can only be soothed when his brother or mother squeezes one of his fretful and fidgeting hands. Sometimes Lark wakes up in the middle of the night and sneaks in to his parents bedroom to make sure they are still there, alive and well. Not covered in static or goo. Both parents pretend to be asleep when their son crawls into bed with them too, not wanting to scare him away. Sparrow comes to join them all some minutes later--its become a new routine. They all hold each other close and hope someday that things might be alright again.

[greiiliss]

So, Lark and Sparrow are ~13, right? And they're both "wild children", they're "disrupting to the class". And their dad doesn't do much about it, not really. He focuses on encouraging desirable behaviors rather than correcting bad behavior. So the twins live their childhood essentially out of check, and they start to develop this idea that they can kind of do whatever they want with no real consequences (kinda like their grandfather).

They get to the Forgotten Realms, and they get taken to Neverwinter, and they learn that people here think the Doodler, the school mascot that Sparrow made up, is a real, powerful creature. And they learn about the prophecy that a Lord of Chaos will bring the Doodler into world, and they figure out (or decide) that the prophecy's about them. They decide "'The Lord of Chaos', that's really cool! We should do that! Then we'd be really cool!"

But their dad stops them, and Sparrow kind of changes his mind. But they don't give up on wanting to be as cool as possible. A lot of stuff happens until eventually, they bring about the end of the world. For quite possibly the first time in their lives, their actions have very real, very bad consequences. The worst thing that has ever happened to them or anyone they have ever known, was their fault.

They don't know how to handle this, they've never had to before. They get angry, blaming themselves and each other. They feel guilty and stupid. It strains their relationships, not only with their family and friends, but with each other.

I imagine they tried to take some sort of comfort from the knowledge that them releasing the end of the world was prophesied. It was inevitable, fated, and if it was fated, it can't be entirely their fault. They weren't children making a dumb decision, they were tools of fate, acting out a prophecy. It was their purpose.

And then they hear about another prophecy. One about a Chosen One who will stop the Doodler and undo all of the damage they caused. And they figure out (or decide) that it's going to be one of their first kid.

Rebecca gets pregnant, and Hero arrives, named for the role she's destined to fulfill. The twins are desperate for something, anything, just one chance to fix their mistake, and they've pinned all their hopes on Hero. So they train her, and train her, and train her, pushing her to do better, be better, be perfect. They drill the story of what they did wrong into her head and remind her over and over that it's her responsibility to fix it. They mold her into the tool they think fate wants her to be.

Hero is ~17, and she's a person, not a tool. She is scared, and lonely, and she is bending under the crushing weight of the pressure her father and uncle (and who knows which is which) are putting on her shoulders. And they don't notice, or they don't care. She has no one to talk to, no one who could possibly understand and sympathize with her situation. So she decides that she's done. She's sick of the training they've put her through and the expectations they put on her. She gets a job delivering pizza, and an internship at the JPL in another world, probably to fill up her schedule so her father and uncle don't have any opportunity to take her away for more training. I personally think she's also saving up money to try and get away from her family.

This is the real Oak family curse, it seems, for the fathers to drive their kids away. Barry expected Henry to be perfect and ignored him when he was anything less. Henry's complete lack of discipline caused tension between him and his sons, even post-Doodler, when he wouldn't punish them for something they felt they should be eternally punished for. Sparrow had one completely honest conversation with Normal, and it resulted in Normal completely rethinking his entire identity. And now we learn that Lark and Sparrow have been traumatizing Hero all along. For a family that has based its identity around "working with all sides of an issue", the Oak-Swallows-Garcias have a lot of trouble listening to and accepting their own kids.

[simplyfroggy]

WASSUP I'm curious as to what other people's favorite arcs are insofar. This leads me to ask: favorite arc? Mine's the Lord of Chaos, because Henry turning into a love wolf was, so fucking metal.

The lord of chaos arc is actually my favorite too! I love Lark and Sparrow (not to mention Henry), we meet a lot of awesome NPCs, and the idea of the dads ruining Anthony's elaborate plans by accidentally stripping in front of their children in still hilarious to me. I'm super excited about the Roqueporte arc, it seems like it's taking a slightly darker turn, but given their track record I'm not sure how seriously the dads will take what they just did